““When I started seeing a therapist the main feeling I was aware of was my sadness. Over time I discovered the feelings beneath this that had been affecting all of my relationships, my career and how I felt day to day.” ”
What is psychotherapy like?
Individual or personal therapy is just that, personal. Everything that happens is confidential between you and your therapist and you may find yourself sharing things that you have not shared with anyone else.
The downside of this is that sometimes we don’t hear what it is like from friends, family or work colleagues who have found it helpful.
So, on these pages you'll find throughout, quotes from real people sharing their experiences (all names have been changed).
Why does talking help?
The experience of feeling heard and understood, often for the first time, may bring deep relief from feelings of sadness, anger, shame or loneliness: feelings that may have been affecting you in obvious or more hidden ways.
Having a reliable space where you can talk about whatever is on your mind may gradually provide you with the psychological safety that makes healing and growth possible.
Insights into emotions or patterns of behaviour which seem confusing or perhaps you’ve never really noticed before can start to make sense, setting you free to start to feel a little, or a lot, differently.
If you think of the many experiences you have had to bring you to this point in your life it could be thought about as your unique story, but does that story make any sense to you? Has it truly been written by you - full of your choices - or is it time to write your own next chapter?
None of this is easy. Perhaps if it was, we would be better able to help ourselves.
Talking about what seems important or troubling in past or current experiences, reflecting on this with a skilled professional may help you to process it in a new way so that you find new solutions to old problems. This takes time, moving at a pace that is right for you. Every therapy is completely unique and entirely collaborative.
The relationship with your therapist is an essential part of this process. You may have feelings about me and how we interact with each other that we can use to more easily understand your experiences of other important relationships in your life.
In psychodynamic psychotherapy we believe that often the root of our difficulties lies in our early relationships.
““I have used therapy at different times in my life for different things. It has helped me understand myself and my history, my reactions and my relationships with others. And it has helped me stay on top of things when all is well and I have wanted things to stay that way. I am a stronger, healthier and happier person for the therapy I have done.”
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““I went into therapy a few years ago when my life wasn’t going to plan - the main issue was my relationship. My therapist helped me realise what was right for me, and helped me find the courage to end something that wasn’t working. Even from the very first session I felt better, knowing that I was doing something about my unhappiness.”
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How long does it take?
Everyone is different, but turning up all of the pieces of the jigsaw that is your life so far, making sense of this and making changes will take time. Therapy is a commitment of time and money. In an initial consultation we would talk about time frames.
Open-ended. The usual model for counselling and psychotherapy is ‘open-ended’, meaning you decide as we go how long you’d like to continue for and when it is time to end. I tend to work mostly with people over the longer term.
““I was thirty-three when I found myself in something of a crisis: I needed to make a decision that would affect the rest of my life. I didn’t know what to do and I wasn’t sure that talking to friends or family would help me find what was right for me. Talking to a therapist did help me find that quite quickly and over the longer term I felt supported and gained the self-belief to make the most of this difficult choice.”
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Is there a difference between counselling and psychotherapy?
Counselling is primarily a particular way of listening; as such it will always be a part of each session. It also means that I would not make judgements or offer advice nor would I talk about myself.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy builds on this but draws from the theories of psychoanalytic thinking – the work of writers and clinicians including Freud, Jung, Klein, Winnicott and their followers - as well as the findings of the latest evidence-based research.
What is the evidence?
You can read more about the evidence base for psychotherapy to see how psychodynamic therapy compares to medical treatments such as anti-depressants and to other forms of therapy such as CBT.
A major recent finding has been that whilst the benefits of other therapies decay over time, patients who undergo psychodynamic psychotherapy appear to be making considerable psychological gains long after treatment has ended.